This week, I hit Publish on the Recap(which took me 2h15m to type up), and my power flickered. I lost everything. I even lost the fancy new stat sheet I’d made myself in Excel.
My initial reaction was to just forego the recap this week. That lasted a few seconds. My second reaction was to just run through it again, but with less passion, so you guys could have your recap in a timely fashion, and I could be done with it. I decided that that wouldn’t be up to the standards I believe I’ve created for myself. So I came to the decision that I felt would most benefit all of you.
I decided to make it better. I decided to do it bigger, stronger. I decided to make it… LEAGUE RECAP THANKSGIVING EXTRAVAGANZA!!!
Or something like that. So without further ado…
This week brought us absolutely no closer to a playoffs picture. There are 3 games left in the season. The 1st place team is only two wins ahead of the sixth(and fifth, fourth, third) place team. That’s right. All four of you tied for last could take first before it’s all said and done. Three of you even have it in your own hands with a game each against the Horsemen. But enough of that, let’s see what happened this week.
Stompers – 244.32 (W) [MVP: Texans QB Matt Schaub – 71.58]
Revenants – 150.20 (L) [MVP: Saints QB Drew Brees – 36.76]
Spread – 94.12
The Stompers had their best game of the season this week! The Revenants had their worst(but they weren’t the worst team this week, we’ll get to that). The two games were so far apart this week that the Revenants have only ever had one game that could’ve beaten the Stompers this Week(Week 4). Conversely, the Stompers have only ever had one game that could’ve lost to the Revenants this week(Week 2). How’s that for some perspective? That puts this game as the second biggest defeat of the season, behind only the Beatleteers’ 103.30-point rout of this same Stompers team back in Week 5. Side note: the third biggest defeat was also in Week 5, when the Great Whites beat the Horsemen by 90.10. Now, since three of those teams just mentioned probably didn’t WANT to be mentioned, let’s move on! This game was just pure defeat through and through. Bit of trivia. The Stompers Defense jumped out in front with that 20-point lead, and the Revenants were never within 20 points again. Trending downward, the Stompers took every single category but Flex. As long as I’ve done this segment, the Stompers are the first time I remember taking that many categories. They took QB by 43.32(one by 34.82, one by 8.50), RB by 6.70(one by 2.20, one by 4.50), WR by 30.60(one by 13.40, one by 17.20), Kicker by 2, and Defense by 13. The Revenants took Flex by 1.50 points. Interestingly, everybody on the Stompers’ team won their respective game except for Flex(Ryan Mathews in San Diego) and Kicker(Alex Henery in Philadelphia). The Revenants have now lost their solidity as a playoff contender, and face the necessity of winning the majority of their next 3 games to stay in it. The Stompers now face the 5-6 Spectres(who they’re 0-2 against in regular season), the 7-4 Horsemen(1-1), and the 6-5 Great Whites(2-0) for an uphill battle into the playoffs. The Revenants are looking down the barrel of the 6-5 Great Whites(0-2), the 5-6 Beatleteers(1-1), and the 7-4 Horsemen(1-1) to finish off the season. Both teams’ momentum looks to be swaying. It’ll be interesting to see if that holds up. MVP: Texans QB Matt Schaub threw for 527 YDS and 5 TD’s with 2 INT’s. That’s the biggest fantasy day of the year for a QB in this league, putting up 71.58 points. By the way, the next two biggest fantasy days for a QB in this league are also Stompers’ QB’s. Be wary if you have them on your schedule at any point the rest of this season(everybody but the Beatleteers and Revenants do), as they mean business.
Beatleteers – 222.44 (W) [MVP: Texans WR Andre Johnson – 52.30]
Great Whites – 143.82 (L) [MVP: Bucs RB Doug Martin – 31.10]
Spread – 78.62
Speaking of large deficits… This is the 5th largest deficit of our season, behind the Stompers 88.80-point win over the Revenants in Week 6. Interestingly enough, the first time these two teams met marks the closest game of our entire season. Week 1 saw the Great Whites squeeze out their first win by 1.12 points. Yep. Even closer than our super-close third matchup of this week. The second time they met, the Great Whites won again, by 21.16. The Beatleteers must not have been happy with that 2-0, 22.28-point lead the Great Whites had, because the Beatleteers responded by quadrupling it in their last match of the season. The Great Whites took RB by 10.20(I don’t think the Great Whites will ever not take RB), but the Beatleteers took the rest of the categories: QB by 6.32, WR by 26.60(Julio Jones left with an ankle injury and new waiver wire pickup DeSean Jackson doesn’t have a quarterback to throw to him), Flex by 36.90(Matt Schaub had to throw all those yards to SOMEBODY, why not give 273 of them to his top receiver?), Kicker by 6, and Defense by 13(the 49ers crushed the Bears without Cutler). This loss marks the Great Whites fourth in a row on their downward spiral, and the Beatleteers now have a two-win streak, putting the two formerly top and bottom teams now one win away from each other. Wow. The rest of the Great Whites’ season is against the 5-6 Revenants(2-0 regular season), the 5-6 Spectres(1-1), and one last shot at the 5-6 Stompers, who have beaten them in both of their regular season meetings. The Beatleteers will face the 7-4 Horsemen(0-2 regular season), the 5-6 Revenants(1-1), and the 5-6 Spectres(1-1). It doesn’t get any easier from here. MVP: Texans WR Andre Johnson caught 14 passes(his most this season) for 273 yards(obviously his most) and a TD(only his third time in the endzone this season, the first two were before Week 4). Matt Schaub found himself playing catch-up to the Jaguars and abandoned the running game pretty early, and Andre Johnson reaped the benefits.
Horsemen – 184.16 (W) [MVP: Redskins QB Robert Griffin III – 52.40]
Spectres – 182.02 (L) [MVP: Patriots QB Tom Brady – 45.24]
Spread – 2.14
Neither team needed this win to stay in playoff contention, but it would have helped the Spectres. This matchup actually, even though it looks it, is not the closest match this league has seen. But it is second, similar to our second-best point lead mentioned above. The only game that was closer was the Great Whites 1.12-point defeat of the Beatleteers in Week 1. So yeah, Week 11 was a big one. The game wasn’t technically won or lost during the Bears-49ers game(it was lost on Defense), but the game sure was a nailbiter. Going into the 4th quarter, the Spectres’ Matt Forte had put up 12 points(of the required 13 to beat the Horsemen) and the Horsemen’s Brandon Marshall had put up ZERO. However, one Touchdown and 21 yards later, the Horsemen were able to just barely put it away. Thanks to RG3, the Horsemen took QB by 6.84 and Defense by 15. Oddly enough, despite winning the game, the Horsemen lost every other category. The Spectres took RB by 3.70, WR by 3.30, Flex by 9.70, and Kicker by 3. So you see what I mean by this game being lost on Defense. The Spectres(arguably wisely) chose to play the Texans Defense(vs. JAX) over the Patriots Defense(vs. IND) this week, and the Texans allowed 37 pts to the Jaguars. The Texans put up 0 points, the Patriots put up 27. But, if they’re feeling that sting of lineup regret, the Horsemen could just have easily approached the bench for Vincent Jackson and Gronkowski. In fact, if both teams had coached their ideal lineups, the Horsemen would have extended this lead by another 1.50 points. Both teams coached poorly this week(as did the Revenants). The rest of the Spectres’ schedule sees the 5-6 Stompers(who the Spectres are 2-0 against in regular season), the 6-5 Great Whites(1-1), and the 5-6 Beatleteers(1-1). The Horsemen are looking at the 5-6 Beatleteers(2-0), the 5-6 Stompers(1-1), and the 5-6 Revenants(1-1), so the season’s still anybody’s. MVP: Redskins QB Robert Griffin III threw for 200 passing yards and FOUR TD’s, and even rushed for an additional 84. The only RB in this matchup to rush for more was Trent Richardson with 95. That’s right, the QB outrushed all the RB’s. The man’s a machine.
So that does it for the week! I found a lot of pretty cool statistics with some Excel wizardry, so I’m going to take the rest of the article to show you those and you can all kind of get a feel for how you’ve been doing this season. Each section of this will be broken down by team, so if you only care about yourself, and how selfish of you, you can read that section and move on. I’ll start at the bottom of the standings, so that leaves me with the 5-6 Stompers.
Head Coach: Keith Frederick
Starting QB: Aaron Rodgers [2nd]
Record: 5-6 [6th]
Points for: 2095.08 [4th]
Points Against: 2085.92 [2nd]
Coaching: -205.68 [1st]
There’s a lot to cover here, for each team, so bear with me. I want to start from the beginning of the season, and kind of work our way through today. Take you through the journey each of the six teams has taken, and what they’ve done to get where they are today. So let’s start with the draft. Let’s see which draft picks were gold, and which were, well, not.
The Stompers had the pleasure of opening our 2012 Draft with the first pick, which meant that they would then get picks 12 and 13, 24 and 25, and so on. With 11 players disappearing between their first and second picks, they needed to make number one count. And they did. They picked Aaron Rodgers, and so far, he’s the second-best fantasy player in the entire league, with 399.26 fantasy points to date.
They used the next two picks on Maurice Jones-Drew and Larry Fitzgerald. Well-advised picks, considering that their team now had a starting QB, RB, and WR. However, aside from Week 3’s win in Indianapolis(Jacksonville’s only win), MoJo never broke 25 fantasy points, and has now missed five straight games, counting the one he was injured in(1.60 points). Fitzgerald doesn’t even have his starting job anymore, playing a weak #2 to midseason pickup Randall Cobb. A receiver can’t catch if he doesn’t have anybody to throw to him.
The Stompers used picks 24 and 25, respectively, on Saints TE Jimmy Graham and Titans RB Chris Johnson. Graham was dropped just before Week 8 in favor of Randall Cobb. CJ2K had an extremely slow start to the season, but hasn’t slowed since Week 6, and is now the Stompers’ #1 RB.
Those are the Top 5 Draft Picks by the Stompers. Looked strong in September, not so much now. The rest are as follows:
36- Tony Romo – Turned out to be a matchup-based starter.
37- Dez Bryant – Off-and-mostly-on solid WR2.
48- Alex Henery – Just as good as any other kicker out there, if perhaps taken a bit early.
49- Green Bay Packers DEF – Viable starting Defense, dropped recently in favor of the Jets, who have a much weaker strength of schedule ahead of them.
60- Matt Schaub – QB of the best team in the AFC, recently putting up 71.58 points.
61- Steve Smith – A pick likely based on Cam Newton’s 2011 success, which has not been replicated in 2012. Dropped after Week 11 in favor of Danario Alexander.
72- Ryan Mathews – Sat out first two games. Has been reliable ever since.
73- A.J. Green – Easily best pick. Top 5 receiver. Traded away for Frank Gore when MoJo went down in Week 7.
84- Roy Helu – Absolute bust. Dropped very early in the season for Felix Jones.
85- Carson Palmer – Last pick, and yet just as viable as all three other QB’s on this team.
So that was the Stompers draft. Take what you will out of it. I’d say they made some solid picks, and have corrected any errors in judgment since with Add/Drops and Trades. They started the season perfectly balanced with 4 QB’s, 4 RB’s, 4 WR’s, and a TE, K, and DEF. In Week 12, they have one new RB and one less TE. They’ve made other changes, but none that affected the quantity balance.
The next thing to cover is the W/L record. The Stompers are 5-6. They opened the season with 3 losses before beating the 3-0 Great Whites, then going L-W-L-W-W-L-W through Week 11.
Now, there are two different kinds of records when it comes to head-to-head. I call them Regular Season and All-Play. Regular Season record means how many wins and losses you actually have against any given team. All-Play is how many wins and losses you WOULD have if you had played each other each and every week. The following column will be formatted as Opponent(Reg Season)(All-Play) in the order in which the Stompers faced them.
All-Play Record [25-30]
So the Stompers have a winning All-Play against the Spectres and Great Whites, losing ever-so-slightly to the Horsemen and Beatleteers, and getting a bit smoked by the Revenants. That said, however, they’ve beaten the Great Whites and Revenants twice each, but won’t get a regular season chance to redeem themselves against the Beatleteers(barring, of course, a playoffs matchup). The Stompers have gone 5-0 three times(tied for first in the league), but never 4-1, 3-2, or 0-5(best in the league), and have gone 2-3 twice, and 1-4 a full six times(worst in the league).
The third thing we’ll talk about, for each person, is points. I’ve lined up the math for Best Game, Worst Game(ranked by the highest-scoring worst game first), Average points, Consistency rating(just the difference between best game and worst game), and Total, and ranked each category. Those numbers are as follows:
Best Game – 244.32 [3rd]
Worst Game – 149.90 [3rd]
Average – 190.46 [4th]
Consistency – 94.42 [4th]
Total – 2095.08 [4th]
Really? Two 3rds and three 4ths, and still sixth in the league? That’s a shame. The Stompers have put up 3 200+ point games(tied for 5th), and 6 games under 175(sixth by two games).
Alright, one final category! Records. The Stompers hold the record for most fantasy points by a QB(actually, they hold the top three spots) in any given week, and they hold two records for being part of the two games with the biggest point deficit in any given week. A 103.30-point loss to the Beatleteers in Week 5, and a 94.12-point rout of the Revenants in Week 11. The Stompers are also the best Coach in the League, coaching only 205.68 points below their ideal lineup for the entire season. That’s less points than a lot of teams’ games in one week. They have coached their perfect lineup twice, and have only coached worse than 30 points down in one game.
The Stompers have used all four Adds(Felix Jones, Randall Cobb, New York Jets, and most recently Danario Alexander), all four drops(Roy Helu, Jimmy Graham, Green Bay Packers, and Steve Smith), and only one trade(AJ Green for Frank Gore in Week 9, a trade the original owner may want back).
That’s all I’ve got! Moving on to number 5 in the standings!
Head Coach: Jacie Frederick
Starting QB: Tom Brady [3rd]
Record: 5-6 [5th]
Points for: 2077.44 [5th]
Points Against: 2057.64 [4th]
Coaching: -403.06 [6th]
The Spectres drew dead-last in the draft, but seemed happy with it considering their first pick would be a two-in-a-row. Somehow, they picked 6th in the first round of the draft, and still came up with Tom Brady. Tom Brady is the third best QB in the league this year, with 388.64 points, just 11 less than second-place Aaron Rodgers. Tom Brady also, out of the Top 25 Fantasy QB’s, has the fewest interceptions(tied for 3) and the fifth fewest sacks(15).
The Spectres used their second pick, Pick 7, on 2011 rookie superstar Cam Newton, and he is nearly 100 fantasy points behind Brady on the season. Cam’s been disappointing, but only when you compare him to his last season self. He’s a viable QB2, putting up 25+ points in 7 of his 10 games.
Picks 18 and 19 were used on Wes Welker and Matt Forte. Welker had a huge run in the middle of the season, topping 20 points for four straight weeks, but his numbers have steadily declined since then with the resurgence of Gronkowski. Gronk is now out for the remainder of the season, so Welker’s production value only looks to go up. He’s the 7th best WR in the league this year, and a clear WR1 for the Spectres. Matt Forte is just ALMOST always good for 20 points, having failed only once in the last 7 games. And he does it without getting touchdowns. The man has 3 on the season.
The fifth round pick, Pick 30, was Trent Richardson, who has been good for 30 every week over the last 3 games, but wildly inconsistent prior. When Week 11 hit, the Spectres’ lineup was skewed in favor of RB’s and they traded Richardson away for some depth at WR in Marques Colston and Torrey Smith. The rest of the Spectres’ picks are below:
31- Hakeem Nicks – Broke 10 points 3 times, injured in Week 3. Slow to return. Traded away as filler.
42- Aaron Hernandez – Dumped after his ankle injury. Only had 3 games with points, all in the teens.
43- Adrian Peterson – Taken late because of a knee injury, he miraculously recovered to 100% before Week 1, and hasn’t slowed down since. 3rd best RB in the league, but only 22 points behind 1st.
54- Patriots Defense – Wildly inconsistent. Picked up Texans Defense for some rotation.
55 – Stephen Gostkowski – Best Kicker owned in this league, third best overall.
66 – Ben Roethlisberger – Fantastically lucky late pick, but injured in Week 10, out for season.
67 – Stevan Ridley – Reliable RB, usually good for 25-30.
78 – Eric Decker – Peyton Manning just has too many weapons. Main cause of Trent Richardson trade.
79 – Jamaal Charles – Up and down, back and forth. Not reliable at all.
90 – Peyton Hillis – Absolute garbage. Kansas City doesn’t give players any room for success.
So that’s the Spectres draft! They started the season with three QB’s, SIX RB’s, three WR’s, a TE, K, and DEF. Going into Week 12, they’ve kicked two RB’s and a TE, and added two WR’s.
Next up, win/loss records. The Spectres opened the season with a loss to the Horsemen, then beat the Stompers, and then lost three in a row. Staring at 1-4, the Spectres won the next 4 games(against every team but the Revenants) to bring themselves back into the playoffs picture. Most recently, they’ve lost their last two games to the Revenants and the Horsemen. Here are their Regular Season and All-Play records.
All-Play Record 20-35
So they’ve never lost to the Stompers(they’ll get one more chance in Week 12), they’ve never beaten the Revenants(and they won’t get to this regular season), they end their Horsemen rivalry at 1-2, and they are 1-1 against their Week 13-14 matchups. I smell redemption. The Spectres have yet to go 5-0, have gone 4-1 once, 3-2 twice, 2-3 a full five times, and 0-5 three times. Not the luckiest of teams.
Next up, points.
Best Game – 225.70 [6th]
Worst Game – 151.78 [1st]
Average – 188.77 [5th]
Consistency – 73.92 [1st]
Total – 2076.44 [5th]
So, they’re the most consistent team in the league. Makes sense, given that they have the best worst game and the worst best game in the league. Their fifth place total points is an exact reflection of their fifth place standings in the league. The Spectres have broken 200 points four times, tying them for second, and made less than 175 three times, tying them for third.
Lastly, records. The Spectres were part of the second-closest matchup of the season, losing by a mere 2.14 points to the Horsemen in Week 11. They are the least effective coach in the league, coaching 403.06 total points away from their ideal lineup, despite having coached perfectly twice, tying the Stompers for most perfect coachings. The Spectres also have the longest winning streak of any team, winning 4 in a row from Week 6 through Week 9.
The Spectres have used three Adds(Brandon LaFell Week 3, Houston Texans and Rob Gronkowski Week 9), three Drops(Aaron Hernandez Week 3, Peyton Hillis and Brandon LaFell Week 9, and two trades(both with the Horsemen, Weeks 9 and 12).
That’s all I’ve got on the Spectres, I think. On to number 4!
Head Coach: Jason Jenkins
Starting QB: Drew Brees [1st]
Record: 5-6 [4th]
Points for: 2155.86 [1st]
Points Against: 2305.54 [1st]
Coaching: -267.02 [5th]
The Revenants drew third in the draft this year, and went straight for superstar QB Drew Brees. Brees is now the best fantasy QB in the league(by 8 points, so maybe not for long), despite having 6 fewer yards than Matt Ryan. SPEAKING of Matt Ryan, the Revenants took him next, and he’s the fifth best fantasy QB in the league. It’s probably because of that whole having EIGHT less TD’s than Brees thing.
The Revenants used Pick 15 on Michael Turner. Now the 19th-best RB in the league, Turner has 193.10 fantasy points on the season, but doesn’t manage enough every game to be an every-week starter. He’s more matchup-based.
Excluding Darren McFadden(injured ankle in Week 9), the Revenants used 4 of the next 5 picks on players that are no longer on their team. Jordy Nelson and Rob Gronkowski were dropped(after an injury and a disappointment, respectively), and Andre Johnson and Frank Gore were traded off midseason to help build some depth. I’ll get to that. The rest of the draft follows:
51- Chicago Bears – League’s leading defense by a lot. 183 points on the season. 2nd place is a full 38 points behind, and the next 38 points are 11 teams down the list. So the Bears are ahead by a fair amount.
58- Roddy White – Wildly inconsistent until the last 3 weeks(20.8, 20.4, 21.3), and now Jones is out. Production could ramp up.
63- Darren Sproles – Another injured RB. Out three games so far, consistent beforehand.
70- Michael Vick – Picked up merely as trade fodder, and successful in that.
75- Demaryius Thomas – 10th-best WR in the league. Not extremely reliable, but more reliable than most.
82- Ryan Tannehill – Picked up as trade fodder. Later dropped.
87- Sebastian Janikowski – 3rd-best K in our league, 9th overall.
So the Revenants wasted a few picks, sure. But they also have the highest point total of any team on the season(a lead only sustained by 21 points now). The Revenants seem to have geared the latter half of their draft toward trading down the road, and it didn’t exactly pan out, since so many teams seem so reluctant to trade.
The Revenants started the season balanced, at 4 QB’s, 4 RB’s, 4 WR’s, a K, TE, and DEF. They go into Week 12 (barring any last-minute trades before the deadline) with one additional RB and one less TE.
The Revenants opened their season with 4 wins out of the first 5 games(they lost Week 2 to the Great Whites), but then lost 5 of the next 6. Injuries and bad luck have caused a pretty steep skid recently, and the Revenants have only one trade remaining to make some last-ditch lineup adjustments. Their head-to-head record is as such:
Great Whites (0-2)(7-4)
All-Play Record [35-20]
So, while the All-Play Record doesn’t have a single losing record, their rivalry with the Stompers comes to an end at 1-2, and their Great Whites’ rivalry can’t finish better. Their Weeks 13 and 14 are rematches against teams they are 1-1 against, and they’ve never lost to the Spectres(won’t get to, barring playoffs games). Their All-Play Record is the best in the league, a full 4 games ahead of second place. They have gone 5-0 twice(Weeks 1 and 4), 4-1 five times(Weeks 3, 5, 7, 8, and 10), 3-2 once, never 2-3, 1-4 twice, and 0-5 once(Week 6).
Next up, points.
Best Game – 268.60 [1st]
Worst Game – 150.20 [2nd]
Average – 195.99 [1st]
Consistency – 118.40 [5th]
Total – 2155.86 [1st]
Aside from consistency, that’s a pretty clear lead. Thing is, the leads are fairly small. Second best game is 8 points behind, second best average is 5 points behind, and second best total is 22 points behind. The Revenants have had 4 200+ point games(tied for 2nd) and 2 that were under 175(tied for 1st).
And lastly, records. The Revenants hold quite a few. They have the best game in the league under their belt(Week 4, which was our highest scoring week by nearly 100 points[Week 9 is the only other week that broke 1200 combined]), they have the highest point total, which automatically gives them the best average. They are tied for 1st at games under 175 points(a mere two). The Revenants have the best All-Play Record in the league, at 35-20. They also have the highest losing streak in the league, tied for 1st at 4 games(same as the Spectres’ winning streak). They’ve taken place in the second-highest point-deficit game(Week 11, 94.12 points, L), and the third-lowest point deficit(Week 8, 5.88 points, L).
The Revenants have had the best fantasy QB of the NFL five times in 11 games, three to Brees(4, 5, 7) and two to Ryan(1, 10). Their Defense also holds the record for best week at 35 points, and they’ve lead the league twice(tied for 1st).
The Revenants have used all four adds on C.J. Spiller(Week 3), Alfred Morris(Week 5), Andy Dalton(Week 6), and Josh Freeman(Week 9); all four drops on Jordy Nelson(Week 3, before his Week 6 breakout), Rob Gronkowski(Week 5), C.J. Spiller(Week 6, that was quick), and Ryan Tannehill(Week 9). They’ve used three trades, two with the Beatleteers for a total of 3 players for 3 players, and one with the Stompers at 1-for-1.
I think that covers it. On to number 3!
Head Coach: Kevin Frederick
Starting QB: Peyton Manning [4th]
Record: 5-6 [3rd]
Points For: 2134.80 [2nd]
Points Against: 2065.52 [3rd]
Coaching: -249.50 [2nd]
The Beatleteers drew 4th in the draft, and used the first pick(Pick 4) on Madden 13 Cover Boy Calvin Johnson of the Detroit Lions. Johnson and QB Matthew Stafford couldn’t find a rhythm until Week 9, but they’ve been reliable in the 3 weeks since then. Calvin Johnson is the fifth-best WR in the league, and only one of 5 WR’s(same 5) to break 200 fantasy points on the season. He only has 3 TD’s(to A.J. Green’s 10 and Brandon Marshall’s 8), but he leads the league in passing yards by over 100 points(1117).
The next pick they used was related. They chose Megatron’s QB Matthew Stafford, now the 7th-best fantasy QB in the league with the 4th-most passing yards, 2nd-most completions, despite only putting up 12 TD’s in 11 games. That’s fewer TD’s than Ryan Fitzpatrick, Russell Wilson, and Tony Romo. He is 4th in the league in rushing TD’s with 3. All this, despite posting his lowest game of the season with 17.84 points.
The third round went to Steven Jackson, who have broken 20 points exactly once in the last 9 games. He is 22nd RB in the league.
David Akers took the fourth round, unusually high for a kicker, and is now the 12th-best kicker in the NFL, fourth-best among this league. He’s behind last-round Sebastian Janikowski and waiver wire pickup Jason Hanson. Probably not what the Beatleteers had in mind, but maybe they’ll remember it next year. I kid, Coach. I kid.
The Beatleteers rounded out the Top 5 picks with DeMarco Murray, who was posting up an average of 20 points, but hasn’t played since Week 6. He is still doubtful for Week 12, so hopefully he’ll be back for the Beatleteers’ playoffs run, before it’s too late. The rest of the picks are as follows:
33- Peyton Manning – Easily best pick, starting QB every week. He looks even better in orange.
40- Brandon Lloyd – Bust. Brilliantly traded him away for Ahmad Bradshaw to an idiot who wanted Calvin Johnson.
45- SF 49ers – 4th-best Defense in the league, and has won the Beatleteers more than one game.
52- Jermichael Finley – Dropped in Week 5. This league doesn’t welcome Tight Ends. Perhaps we’ll remedy that.
57- Danny Amendola – Traded him away in Week 7 for Andre Johnson and Michael Vick, got him back in Week 9 for Willis McGahee.
64- Pierre Garcon – Traded him away in Week 5 to a team who dropped him in Week 7. Has only played 3 games this season, breaking 10 points once. Bust.
69- Reggie Wayne – Traded him away for Andre Johnson. Even trade.
76- Justin Blackmon – Dropped him in Week 3 for Brandon Marshall. Best waiver wire move of the season. Eventually landed them Marshawn Lynch.
81- Jay Cutler – Sufficient for bye weeks, later concussed, but the Beatleers don’t need a QB3 anyway.
88- Willis McGahee – Solid pick. But traded him away a few weeks before an injury took him out for the season.
Much of the Beatleteers’ draft team is no longer with us. I’m guessing they’ll draft differently next year. You live. You learn. They opened with 3 QB’s, 3 RB’s, 6 WR’s, a TE, K, and DEF. They enter Week 12 with 3 QB’s, 5 RB’s, 5 WR’s, a K, and a DEF, probably the optimal lineup balance in this league.
The Beatleteers opened this season with three losses to the subsequently top three teams. They followed it up with a two-game W streak, a two-game L streak, a W, an L, and a recent two-game W. Their head-to-head:
Great Whites (1-2)(6-5)
All-Play Record [29-26]
As far as rivalries go, they’ve got a vendetta against the Horsemen coming into Week 11, having never won that matchup. They end their Great Whites rivalry at 1-2, their Stompers rivalry at 2-0, and look to win their Revenants and Spectres rivalries in Weeks 13 and 14. Their all-play record is third in the league, two games behind the Horsemen and six games behind the Revenants. Thay have won three of their last four, five of their last 8, after opening the season 0-3, and they only face one team with a winning record in the next 3 weeks. The
Now, for points.
Best Game – 260.66 [2nd]
Worst Game – 141.54 [5th]
Average – 194.07 [2nd]
Consistency – 119.12 [6th]
Total – 2134.80 [2nd]
The Beatleteers are the least consistent team in the league, but they lead the league in games over 200 points with 5. Three of those games came in the last 4 weeks, so it’s safe to say they’re on a tear. They’re tied for third at games under 175 points with 3. This team has gone 5-0 a record three times(tied for 1st with the Stompers), 4-1 twice, 3-2 once, 2-3 once, 1-4 once, and 0-5 a league-high 3 times(tied with the Spectres).
The Beatleteers hold a record for best QB on the week(Stafford 57.28 Week 8), best RB on the week immediately after trading for Ahmad Bradshaw(49.90 Week 5), best WR on a week FOUR TIMES(Amendola 38.90 Week 2, Reggie Wayne 45.20 Week 5, Calvin Johnson 40.70 Week 10, Andre Johnson 52.30 Week 11), and that Andre Johnson Week is the best WR week of the season. They also hold a record for Best Defense of the week in Week 4 with 34 points from the 49ers, second best defensive week of the season.
They are the only team to have been a part of both the biggest point deficit and smallest point deficit games, with a Week 5 103.30-point victory over the Stompers and a Week 1 1.12-point loss to the Great Whites.
The Beatleteers have used all of their moves for the season. Four adds(Brandon Marshall, Devin Hester, CJ Spiller, and Titus Young), four drops(Justin Blackmon, Jermichael Finley, Devin Hester just two weeks later, and Jay Cutler), and four trades(two with the Horsemen, two with the Revenants).
That’s all I’ve got on them, let’s move to number two!
Head Coach: Alice Jean Frederick
Starting QB: Philip Rivers [19th]
Record: 6-5 [2nd]
Points For: 2038.28 [6th]
Points Against: 2054.48 [5th]
Coaching: -252.02 [3rd]
It was tough to pick a starting QB for the Great Whites(which I’m sure they’ll agree with every week), since Eli and Philip both were chosen to start 9 games for the Great Whites. Obviously the Great Whites don’t feel safe starting both of them every time, or they’d each have 10 starts, the same number of starts they each have in the NFL. That said, this is an interesting case I want to point out before we get started with the Great Whites’ storied history. Eli Manning has four more fantasy points on the season than Philip Rivers. However, if you take their last three games, Rivers counts for 96.90 fantasy points. Eli? 33.18. In the past 4 weeks, Eli is ranked as the 34th QB in the NFL. Hmmmm…. Aren’t there only 32 teams? Yes… Yes there are.
ANYWAY! Let’s ignore the current situation and look at the Great Whites’ 2012 Draft. They drew fifth, and somehow still landed Arian Foster with their first pick. Good job, first four picks. Good job. (I kid, Rodgers, McCoy, and Brees were better picks.) I’m sure you all know how Foster is doing, but let’s do this anyway. Best in the league. Arian Foster leads the league with 329.10 points(he’s sixth best in the past 4 weeks, but he’s still amazing). He leads the league in rushing attempts(one of only two backs with 200+), he’s 4th in total yards, and leads the league in touchdowns with TWELVE. Second place TD candidate has 8. 3rd-6th each have 7. His worst week is 23.20 points last week in Jacksonville, when the Texans had to abandon the run game and he lost his first and only fumble of the season. His best week was 42.70 points in Week 2 against the same team.
Second pick of the draft went to Eli Manning. Ouch. I think I’ve covered that.
Third pick? Victor Cruz. Part of that Eli offense, but he’s still 9th-best WR in the league. A slow start to the season was becoming more and more reliable before Eli tanked on him in the last three weeks.
Pick 4 went to Julio Jones, who seems only capable of producing in Away games. Roddy White produces in all the Home games. Recently, Jones has not participated in practice, but his season doesn’t look to be in jeopardy.
Pick 5 went to Sam Bradford, a pick perhaps clouded by the glory days of OU and not the 2-14 team of last year who traded their second pick to the Washington Redskins. Bradford is ranked 22nd among QB’s, underperforming the likes of Ryan Fitzpatrick and Christian Ponder. The rest of the draft:
32- Fred Jackson – Plagued by injuries, timeshare with CJ Spiller, weak offensive line. 31st amongst RB’s.
41- Garrett Hartley – Bit early for a kicker. Dropped two weeks ago for WR depth.
44- Brandon Pettigrew – Tight End. Doesn’t get used since this league isn’t TE-friendly.
53- Steelers Defense – 18th-ranked Defense, 7th in a six-team league…
56- Philip Rivers – Best QB pick. 23rd QB on the season, 17th in the past 4 weeks.
65- Shonn Greene – 19th-best RB in the league, despite ZERO TD’s(tied with Ryan Mathews).
68- Percy Harvin – Percy went THIS LATE!? That’s ridiculous. I’m upset.
77- Vernon Davis – Tight End. See Brandon Pettigrew.
80- Mason Crosby – The Kicker they chose to keep. Go figure.
89- Doug Martin – Second-best RB in the league. That’s right, the Great Whites took the two best RB’s in the NFL as their first pick, and their last. Guess who wins best draft pick?
I’m still upset they took Percy Harvin and Doug Martin in Rounds 12 and 15, but at least they took two kickers and two tight ends. They opened the season with three QB’s, four RB’s, three WR’s, two TE’s, two K’s and a DEF. They enter Week 12 missing a kicker and adding a DeSean Jackson. The Great Whites haven’t changed much.
The Great Whites opened 2012 with SIX WINS in seven games, to take the league by storm. Every other team had lost at least three in that same span. Then, Week 8 saw a loss to the Spectres, and it was just the beginning of a four-game losing streak. It’s tied for worst losing streak in the league, but it’s the only active one. Their record:
So the Beatleteers rivalry is over, and they’ve won it. They’ve clinched the Revenants rivalry too, though the Revenants don’t want it to move to 3-0. They’re tied with the Spectres going into Week 13, they’re 0-2 to the Stompers going into Week 14, and they end the Horsemen rivalry with a tie. Interestingly enough, that 2-0 against the Revenants is up against an All-Play of 4-7. They now have 4 losing records. They have gone 5-0 twice(tied for 3rd), never 4-1, 3-2 three times, and 2-3, 1-4, and 0-5 twice each.
Now for their points.
Best Game – 233.96 [5th]
Worst Game – 143.82 [4th]
Average – 185.39 [6th]
Consistency – 90.14 [2nd]
Total – 2039.28 [6th]
Second most consistent team, and yet right at the bottom in total points. On a positive note, they’re only 116 points away from first in the league, entirely attainable in the next three weeks. Obviously, average matches total, and they’re still one of only two teams with a winning record. Don’t you dare count them out. Eli Manning just had a Bye after ten LONG weeks without a break.
Lastly, their records. The Great Whites hold the record for the most points ever produced by a single player in a single week in Week 9’s Doug Martin 76.20-point extravaganza. That also puts them at the best RB of the season, and he’s done it twice. Week 8 saw 53.90 points, third best week for an RB, behind 63.80 to Jamaal Charles. Eli had the best game of Week 2 with 54.20 points. They pulled off the closest win of the season with 1.12 points, and they’ve held the best record of the season at 6-1.
The Great Whites have used one Add on DeSean Jackson, and one Drop on Garrett Hartley. They have three remaining add/drops and 4 trades.
On to number one!
Head Coach: Kyle Frederick
Starting QB: Robert Griffin III [6th]
Record: 7-4 [1st]
Points For: 2111.98 [3rd]
Points Against: 2044.34 [6th]
Coaching: -263.46 [4th]
The Horsemen have taken the top of the league recently, two wins above the four teams tied at the bottom. Let’s look at their draft and see how it compares.
The Horsemen drew second in the draft, and used their first two picks on RB’s in this year’s draft, and as such their team has been based around them. They used their first pick on LeSean McCoy, who never, not once, exceeded 30 points in fantasy land. However, he also only dipped below 20 once. He could be the most consistent player in the entire league(but I’m not going to find out). He recently got a concussion playing from 25 points behind in the last 2 minutes of a game, so he’s got Andy Reid destroying his career. No word on when he will be back.
The second pick was used on Ray Rice, who has broken 30 twice, and still only dipped below 20 once. The Ravens rely heavily on him when Flacco isn’t on point, and that’s been often this season. Recently he played the run-tough Steelers D, and still put up 23.30 points. He’s been a must-start/can’t-lose player for the Horsemen all season.
The third pick, just three picks later, was Greg Jennings… Greg Jennings used the first 4 games of the season to post a total 25.80 points, and was injured. He hasn’t played since Week 4(and didn’t play Week 2), and the Horsemen have held onto hope this entire time. Why? Because Aaron Rodgers. No GB receivers were doing well that early. Rodgers finally stepped up, and the Horsemen have been hopeful that when Jennings comes back, he’ll be fantasy gold. Yeah. Good luck with that.
The Horsemen decided it might be time to take a QB, and used both Picks 23 and 26(Rounds 4 and 5) on rookie first-rounders Robert Griffin III and Andrew Luck. The Horsemen knew their team would be based on RB’s, and decided to roll the dice on the two rookies. 11 games into the season, and RG3 is the 6th-best QB in the league, 27 points away from being the best. The interesting thing is, RG3 places 20th in completed passes 186, 20th in passing yards with 2193, and 23rd in Passing TD’s with 12 and is sacked the 13th most with 23. He leads the league, however(tied with Tom Brady) with THREE interceptions, and has placed 19th in rushing yards(amongst RUNNINGBACKS), seventh in rushing TD’s(again, amongst RUNNINGBACKS). Only Stevan Ridley, Doug Martin, Ray Rice, Andre Brown, Adrian Peterson, and Arian Foster have scored more rushing TD’s than RG3. He’s also tied for second in fumbles with 9, but only lost 2 of them.
Andrew Luck is the 10th-best QB in the league, 9th in completions, 7th in passing yards, and 12 TD’s, but is second in the league in rushing TD’s with 5, only behind RG3. He’s tied for third most with 12 INT’s, and 7th most fumbles at 8. These two QB’s turned to be absolutely worth starters. So that’s their Top 5. The rest follows:
35- Mike Wallace – Usually scores in the teens, but inconsistent. No longer has a QB(or even a second-string QB).
38- Reggie Bush – 51.20 points in Week 2, then never broke 25 again. Couldn’t reach 15 in three of his last four. Bust.
47- Baltimore Ravens – Shell of their former self. Dropped when they lost Webb and Lewis.
50- Ahmad Bradshaw – Traded off for WR’s just before his biggest game of the season.
59- Joe Flacco – 30, 20, 50, 40, 12, 25, 17, 22, 50, 15. Yeah. Inconsistent much?
62- Marques Colston – 13th WR overall. But traded off for an RB.
71- Jeremy Maclin – Traded off rather early as filler.
74- Marshawn Lynch – 4th RB overall. Traded away when in need of a WR.
83- Torrey Smith – Used to boost trade value to get Trent Richardson. See Joe Flacco.
86- Matt Prater – He’s a kicker. Dropped in favor of a kicker who was playing in a desperate attempt to win a game.
Five strong picks, ten weak ones. The Horsemen opened with 3 QB’s, 5 RB’s, 5 WR’s, a K, and a DEF. Possible optimal lineup. They enter Week 12 with one less RB and an ill-advised TE, with no other quantitative changes.
The Horsemen opened 2012 with three wins, then three losses, then a W, then an L, and three more wins. Their record is as follows:
Great Whites (1-1)(6-5)
All-Play Record [31-24]
The Horsemen are the only team to have beaten all 5 other teams at least once, and are 1-1 against THREE teams. They end the Spectres rivalry at 2-1, and hope to go 3-0, 2-1, and 2-1 against their next three matchups. But stranger things have happened. The Horsemen have gone 5-0 only once, ahead of only the Spectres, 4-1 thrice, 3-2 a league-high four times, 2-3 once, and 0-5 twice. They’ve never gone 1-4.
On to points.
Best Game – 240.72 [4th]
Worst Game – 124.12 [6th]
Average – 192.00 [3rd]
Consistency – 116.60 [4th]
Total – 2111.98 [3rd]
So that one bad game was… Yeah. It was bad. But I remember it. RG3 and Joe Flacco both showed under 10 points, despite both playing at least three quarters. Their next worst game was 155.56, and would’ve been a league-high, but I digress. They’re third in total and average, and one of the three bottom teams with a consistency rating of over 100(that’s bad). They’ve been over 200 four times, and under 175 a league-high(tied) 2.
Now, and finally, records. The Horsemen have had the best RB of the Week twice(Bush Week 2, Lynch Week 4), best WR twice(immediately after additions, VJax Week 7 and Brandon Marshall Week 9), and Defense once(the Broncos have led twice, but the Horsemen didn’t own them the first time). The Horsemen have the best active streak at 3 wins, and won the second-closest game of the season in Week 11, by 2.14 points over the Spectres. They also lead the league(tied at 1st) in games under 175 points, with only 2.
The Horsemen have used three Adds(Vincent Jackson, Jason Hanson, and Denver Broncos), three Drops(Pierre Garcon, Matt Prater, and Baltimore Ravens D), and have tapped out their trades for the year(two with the Beatleteers, two with the Spectres).
So that’s all I’ve got on them!
So that does it guys! This week’s Thanksgiving Recap Extravaganza comes to a close at 7317 words, and we head into Week 12 with hopefully a bit clearer picture of the league’s story.
Week 12 heats up a few rivalries with the Great Whites(2-0)against the Revenants, the Horsemen(2-0)against the Beatleteers, and the Spectres(2-0) against the Stompers. The standings absolutely WILL change, since the tiebreakers can’t all 4 win their games. Will the Horsemen extend their win streak? Will the Great Whites continue their downward spiral? And can the Stompers pull off a win against their nemesis? I guess we’ll find out Thursday, when the Patriots, Jets, Texans, Lions, Cowboys, and Redskins ALL have games on Thanksgiving. Every single team has at least one player in for Thursday, and four of the teams even have a starting QB lined up to start.
I know I, for one, can’t wait to watch the playoffs fall into place after this week. This is your time! Make it count!
Also, if this was too long, and you didn’t read it, shame on you. It took me upwards of six hours to put this altogether. So go back to the top, and start over.
League of Shadows
PS Not sure if the Stompers wanted me to mention this yet, but they and the Great Whites (who will be playing each other that week) will be hosting a League Watch Party on December 9th. It’s an all-day event, so clear off your calendars and come enjoy some burgers, chips, beer, and soda, and some good ol’ professional football! It’s the last week of the regular season, and the final clincher for the playoffs picture, so be there! We may even vote on a few league topics.